" Eyes of the World" By Ava Cassavantes Archive away, * except* Gossamer, ATXC is fine too, just keep my name on everything SPOILER WARNING Not that I know of, but watching the show would help;) RATING G[for now] CONTENT WARNING Your grandma could read it and not blink CLASSIFICATION X , A SUMMARY Scully must deal with the ramifications of Mulder's new alliance with the Consortium Disclaimer- Mulder, Scully, Skinner, the Consortium, Cancer Man, and anyone else you recognize aren't mine. They belong to Mr.Kotter, er make that Mr. Chris Carter and 1013 Productions and probably the Fox Network. Bad ol' me is using them without permission but I don't intend and copyright infringement[honest!] "Eyes of the World" is a song from Fleetwood Mac's Mirage album written by Lindsey Buckingham and Richard Dashut. It is not mine, I make no claims to it, and didn't ask permission to use it, I just hope the band forgives my wanton disregard for their copyrighted material;) "Back and forth the lies unfurl, in the eyes, in the eyes, in the eyes of the world" Fleetwood Mac This is my first attempt at fanfic so forgive me any newbie mistakes;) She leaned heavily against the door and let her weight sink to the floor. Exhausted her head rested on the cool metal of the doorframe. "I won't cry. I won't cry." She chanted the mantra silently and felt the tears well up and then slowly dissipate without falling. A minor victory. Crying was what Dana Scully had been doing frequently for the last six months. Out of frustration and anger and pain. Her partner was gone. Not dead, dead would have been better, but gone. Gone to the other side. Now allied with the shadowy figures he had spend the last five years waging a personal war against. Fox Mulder was no longer her partner, he was a ghost and worse than that an enemy. Scully remembered how it happened. Another late night call, fear rising in her stomach. Metal in her mouth. Arriving at the hospital almost unaware of having driven there. It wasn't the same though. Mulder hadn't been shot, or roughed up, to the contrary he looked very peaceful. The nurse Scully cornered said it was a coma, not induced by trauma but seemingly spontaneous. A sleeping catatonic state. Not unheard of, but not easily explained. Mulder had been found in his apartment by a pizza delivery boy. At first he seemed to be asleep but the door was open and he was lying on the floor, the rug rumpled beneath him. A struggle wasn't out of the question. Scully drifted in and out of the hospital for days, biding her time, feeling like the world was on pause until she got her partner back. Just as suddenly and mysteriously as it began Mulder's coma ended. Scully was allowed into see him. She remembered details of those moments. Silly trivial details. The grey scuff marks on the floor tile, the sheen of frost on the only window, the way everything seemed too white-sheets, blankets, walls, in the morning sun they all gave off an almost blinding light. And Scully remembered Mulder. He seemed smaller in the bed, his skin pale almost translucent enough to trace the veins crisscrossing his face. It was his eyes that gave it away. They were the same but different, like trying to get someone's attention in a busy store and having them stare right through you. You're in their line of vision, but they don't focus on you. They see around you, above you, beyond you and most frightening of all-through you. His eyes were full of so many things they hadn't held before. Scully could once have looked at him and read his soul. This eyes held pathos, you could feel the pain of Samantha's disappearance, trace his descent into the obsessive quest for the truth, and occasionally glimpse that dry smokey wit that popped up when you least expected it. But not know, Mulder's eyes were still alive- but they burned with something Scully couldn't identify. The myriad of emotions she had witnessed this man experience in the last five years were not a database for this. She remembered how he spoke to her. Looking up, giving that little half-smile that usually earned her forgiveness. His voice was low, a hoarse sort of hum, that meant familiarity but just a little unknown. He had said " Hi, there." So innocuous, but Scully was so glad to have him say anything that she would have even laughed at ones of his corny one-liners. They discussed nothing in particular, but she managed to gradually steer the conversation toward Mulder's condition and what caused it. She berated herself many times for not being more perceptive to his response, forcing it, demanding the facts. But when he evaded, she didn't press. She made excuses for- He's tired, maybe he doesn't remember, it could be medical. She let him off the hook when he muttered "I don't know." Ignoring the gnawing instincts that told her to make him tell her the truth. Pushing down the slow whirpool building in the pit of her stomach. This was Mulder after all, no explanations necessary. But the signs in the weeks that followed were all too easy to read. And a million times since then Dana Scully wished she had done just that. End Part 1 Feedback is a wonderful thing ;) mae-b@geocities.com Music!Maven http//members.tripod.com/~MaeB/index.html Different address, same me, same story " Eyes of the World" By Ava Cassavantes Archive away[but let me know if possible], * except* Gossamer, ATXC is fine too, just keep my name on everything SPOILER WARNING Not that I know of, but watching the show would help;) RATING G[for now] CONTENT WARNING Your grandma could read it and not blink CLASSIFICATION X , A SUMMARY Scully must deal with the ramifications of Mulder's new alliance with the Consortium Disclaimer- Mulder, Scully, Skinner, the Consortium, Cancer Man, and anyone else you recognize aren't mine. They belong to Mr.Kotter, er make that Mr. Chris Carter and 1013 Productions and probably the Fox Network. Bad ol' me is using them without permission but I don't intend and copyright infringement[honest!] "Eyes of the World" is a song from Fleetwood Mac's Mirage album written by Lindsey Buckingham . It is not mine, I make no claims to it, and didn't ask permission to use it, I just hope the band forgives my wanton disregard for their copyrighted material;) ````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` "Back and forth the lies unfurl, in the eyes, in the eyes, in the eyes of the world" Fleetwood Mac ````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` She let him get away. Get away with it. She knew, and he knew. Like an adulterous spouse who wants to be caught the clues were there. The phone calls aborted as she entered the office, the filing cabinet suddenly locked, the key "lost". All that was left to do was check his collar for cigarette burns. At first Scully believed Mulder had found the "truth" He had the answers but just needed time to sort them all out before presenting them to her. Time to build a solid argument wall her skepticism couldn't knock down. But she knew that didn't make sense. He would have come to her in enthusiasm, features animated with the fufillment of his quest. Joy at finding another tenuous buoy of hope to lash himself to. And she would have rolled her eyes, or mounted a defense, or maybe just stood there and let him bask in the knowledge, burst the bubble gently, because every time it did burst it never quite filled as much again. There was none of this, Mulder didn't speak, and Scully didn't speak. The two most silent weeks of their partnership. Not the silence of companionship, but the complete lack of desire to communicate. Words were now only tools "Good morning", "Pass the stapler" "Skinner wants to see us". He inhabited his clothing, filled up his chair, and occupied the desk, but he had withdrawn from their partnership.Holding hands, you feel the other person's hand slip away ,and you are left clutching nothing but their glove. This was Scully, denying that the flesh was gone and she was left with only a piece of cloth. Why didn't she question him? Was the fear of his answer so great that she let him slip away? For reasons not known Scully couldn't bring herself to confront Mulder. Akin to cleaning out the fridge, if you never look closely inside you can't see the mold, or the expiry date. The act of not cleaning , let's you keep thinking it doesn't need to be done. Deluding and procrastinating. So Scully ignored the changes, projecting the qualities of the old Mulder on to the new Mulder and trimming the edges that didn't fit. Using her skeptic nature to undermine her own doubts like they were fantastic theories of his. Until the pictures. The pictures changed everything Another morning in the tomb of their new working relationship, Scully had arrived early. She appreciated the few minutes she could spend in private space before "He" arrived. She had started thinking of him as "He". Mulder was her friend, her partner, the one whom she trusted. "He" was none of these things. The pictures were in a brown 9x 12 envelope on her desk. The label was neatly typed "SPECIAL AGENT DANA SCULLY". She fingered the thin paper, and using her thumbnail, opened the enevelope. The contents spilled out onto her desk. Pictures, pictures of Mulder, pictures of Mulder with Them. The only one she clearly recognized was the Smoker, the rest were strangers, but their demeanour was familiar. Like trying to place a famous actor in a low-budget movie. The face was recognizable, but the surroundings lent that hint of ambiguity that makes you scan the closing credits for confirmation. The confirmation was there. Her partner, handing files to the smoker, shaking hands with several grey haired, suited drones. In one shot it seemed he was being patted on the back by his new associates. The one common thread in each picture was Mulder, or rather Mulder's expression. It was relaxed, at ease, like he was out at a ball game with the boys, or just joking around with her...with her? Scully numbed as she recalled instances of seeing this look on Mulder's face. The air of comfort, maybe on their way to a case, or in some tacky diner, in Skinner's office during one of the infamous "Bawling Out Sessions". It was conspiratorial, secret,an injoke between friends. And now it was poison. He dared wear it it in the presence of the enemy? Her enemy maybe, but no longer his Scully knew she should be making excuses, mentally defending Mulder, she had five years of loyalty to draw on. It wouldn't come, proof in hand she knew he'd gone over. Maybe she even knew why. No seductive promise of Samantha, no shiny nugget of truth dangled before his nose like a carrot, no trade for the life of his partner. Something darker was needed to fight the battle persuasion or fear would never win.... End Part 2 feedback is a wondeful thing;) hendrsn@north.nsis.com Music!Maven http//members.tripod.com/~MaeB/index.html